scarecrow poetics/essays

Monday, May 01, 2006


For N. B...

the first mistake
in a long fucking list
was made in the pool
of the Beverly Hills Hotel
when I said
“lets get married”
and you said “yes”

the old world versus the new
and the battle for supremacy
was waged in our marital bed
during that endless summer

you introduced me to your world
like some idiot child
about to be shown the
error of his ways

your rich, perfect
West Hollywood friends
drinking cosmopolitans
and shoving tubes up their perfect
white asses
to flush the shit out
of themselves

I have to tell you:
It didn’t work

the outside world
an irrelevancy
when compared to how to get
the best teeth, the best car
perfectly bleached ass-hair,
perfectly shaved cunts,
perfectly shaped eyebrows,
thousand dollar shoes

even though your father
had pissed and snorted it away
you still carried that sense of entitlement
down the years
as if it was you who had won the Oscar
and deserved your just reward

my father drove buses for 25 years
my mother wiped the incontinent asses
of senile old women
to put food on the table

yet somehow
in the topsy-turvy world
of beautiful Hollywood
it was your mother who commanded
for making her money
by spreading her cunt
for the alcoholic heir
of a B-movie actress

dissolution of marriage:
we come in with nothing
we leave with nothing
but I’ll leave you with
these words…

you don’t have to thank me
just hold them close
and I sincerely hope
they keep you warm

Tony O'Neill © 2006.

In a previous life Tony O’Neill played keyboards for bands and artists as diverse as Kenickie, Marc Almond and The Brian Jonestown Massacre. After moving to Los Angeles his promising career was derailed by heroin addiction, quickie marriages and crack abuse. While kicking methadone he started writing about his experiences on the periphery of the Hollywood Dream and he has been writing ever since. His autobiographical novel DIGGING THE VEIN will be published in Feb 2006 by Contemporary Press, in the US and Canada. Wrecking Ball Press plan to release a UK edition Summer 2006. He lives in New York where he works a variety of odd jobs and writes.

More details can be found at


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